Moving Locations

Ok so my attempt at keeping up two blogs has been a MAJOR FAIL- so I am combining this blog with my other blog and giving up trying to stay anonymous- here is the address-

thepiedmontpages.blogspot.com

Check it out- and thanks for all who view.  I promise to do better and the good news is that now you will be able to see pictures of the two most beautiful children in the world - and I am not biased in the least.  Amy

Military Child

April is Month of the Military Child. Today's Photo of the Day is an opportunity to recognize the character, strength and sacrifices of America's military children and the role they play in the Armed Forces community. Thank you, military children - our Heroes for the future!


I love my military children!!!

My Military Family

One of the hardest things about being in the military is not living close to your family.  I am so jealous of the woman I work with who takes her grandson on the weekends so her son can sleep in.  I sit at church behind rows and rows of grandparents with their grandkids and I feel bad for mine that they do not get to see theirs all the time.  Plus, I hate being away from my sisters and their kids.  But as much as this is a drawback, it is also something that makes you have a bond with your fellow military families which are like no other friendship.

For instance, this past week when my nanny was sick and I was frantic to find help- I had no less than 3 wives offer to watch my children, one whose husband is currently in Afghanistan (like she needs the extra stress).  When a baby is born, there are always meals waiting for you.  When a spouse leaves, their are endless offers of help and support.  The list goes on and on.  Things that you would not be comfortable asking of anyone else, your military family provides.  And eventhough we do not live close to family, I have never once been to a birthday party (or thrown one myself) that was not packed with families and celebration.  

So as much as I hate being away from my immediate family, there are no words to describe how much I love my military family and how these people will always hold a special place in my (and my children's) hearts.

Double Standard and Asking for Help- Two things working mothers HATE

Why is it that eventhough I work and have an important and demanding job everything with the home and the children is still my responsibility?  I think that is the hardest part of being a working mom.

This realization was brought to the forefront this past week when my nanny got sick.  My husband never even offered to stay home from work nor did he make suggestions on how to find alternate daycare.  Instead, I was scrambling, calling friends, posting on facebook and babysitting sites to find an alternative sitter while he sat there with this blank stare saying "well what are you going to do"- you being the operative word.  Because it was not his problem, only mine.  I ended up missing work last Thursday and Friday and then getting a friend to watch them today.  I was so infuriated last night because along with finding alternate childcare, I was stuffing eggs for Princess's school egg hunt, folding laundry, packing a bag for Angel Baby for the next day and my husband was in bed, reading a book and sulking because I had been angry with him over not offering to help.

Then at work we had a BORING webinar during my lunch hour.  Throughout the talk, I am texting my nanny and other sitters to coordinate care for tomorrow.  As I am doing this, my boss asks me sarcastically- "are you getting all of this" (my boss is a man with no children) I wanted to just scream- "you are taking the one hour I have to myself to try and take care of the 1000 things I have to do and if I am not here tomorrow because I have no babysitter, you will bitch about it all day.  Not to mention I am a woman so that means I can multitask, so yes I am hearing every boring thing these men are saying while finding care for my children for tomorrow" - but instead, I just smiled.

We are so hard on ourselves and yet oftentimes, society does not help.  Our bosses expect us to be a work, our husbands expect us to take care of the children and home, and our children expect us to do everything.  As mothers, we are expected to balance it all and most days I can accomplish this but sometimes it is overwhelming and you know what I have learned in these trying days- I have to ask for help. My husband will not just offer it though he would gladly assisted if I asked.  I have to ask my friends for help and 99.9% of the time (mostly because they are moms) they will help anyway they can.  It is just as a working mother I hate admitting I can not handle it all, I hate asking for help and all I want is for someone to say- wow you do alot!  But for today, I will accept help, I will try not to feel guilty, and I will pray all day that my nanny is better tomorrow because this has been VERY stressful!

I Give Up!!!

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!

I am not sure about you other mommies, but I often feel like in all aspects of my life, no matter how much I do, it is never enough.  Here are some examples.

Children
Princess and I have been going through some growing pains lately.  She seems to be testing her limits and mostly with me.  Plus, she as developed a bit more of an attitude and I seem to be the target for most of her sassiness.  I am trying to just stand my ground without losing my temper (which I am often unsuccessful at) but I am trying.  Anyways, this past weekend on Friday I wanted to make the day fun for the kiddos.  We went to the park in the morning, took Princess to get chicken nuggets at McDonalds and went home to watch WildKrats while we ate lunch before rest time.  Well Princess throws a FIT because she wants to eat at the coffee table and not the breakfast bar to which I told her no- I am such a mean mommy.  After rest time, which Princess refused to take, we went to the neighborhood park, played, Princess rode her scooter home but stopped every two seconds because she was "tired" so finally I picked her and the scooter up and carried them home (while pulling the wagon with Angel Baby in it)- again she LOST IT because she had wanted to ride her scooter.
On Saturday, I took Princess to The Lorax while Angel Baby napped.  We had a great time and my faith was restored that she was a wonderful, sweet child.  Until it was time to leave and she broke down crying because I threw the rest of her sprite away.  I was then "that mother" walking through the mall with a child kicking and screaming.

Here I am trying to do fun things and each time it results in a meltdown!  I give up!!!!

Family, work, etc.
Then there all the other aspects of my life that no matter how hard I try I still feel like a failure.  The house is never clean enough.  The laundry isn't done.  I don't call enough.  We don't travel enough to see everyone.  I am not at work enough (this is mostly from jealous co-workers who are pissed I only work part time so I could really not care about this last one).  I spend/don't make enough money.  Anyways, you get my point- it is never enough.

Luckily, I have a husband that tells me (on most days) that I am doing a great job, a family that loves me even if I am terrible about calling, friends that no matter how long we go without speaking when we do talk it is as if no time has passed.  Finally, my children, as much as I feel like they do not appreciate me now- I know they love me more than anything because even when I am punishing them and I am the bad guy, I am still the only person they want.  And one day they will appreciate me and will be sweet and loving and successful so I just need to stay strong.  But that does not mean I don't still get frustrated!!!!!

Working Mom

I was asked to do a guest post on the following blog www.butidohavealawdegree.com-check it out - it is one of my favorites.  I just think all us mommies (working and SAH) need encouragement so it is nice to be reminded we are not the only ones who struggle at this whole balancing act.

Here is my story.  I am mother of two wonderful (and exhausting) children, a Navy Wife, a part-time attorney, daughter, sister, friend- like many of you readers, I am trying to do it all.  Which I believe only multiplies the amount of guilt I feel!

I often wish I could talk to my 20 year old self and tell her to really reconsider her career choice.  At the time, I just was not ready to be done with school and I wanted to know I could always support myself.  I was not thinking like a mother and certainly not like a Navy Wife (ie I have already taken 2 bar exams and will probably have to take at least 2-3 more before it is all said and done).  I just don't believe that at 20 we should have to decide what we are to do for the rest of our lives.  I luckily have found a wonderful nanny to love my children when I am not there and a small law firm that allows me to work only 4 days a week and recognizes the importance of my family and how that will always take precedenc- but this unfortunately is the rarity in the legal field and in 2 years time I will be moving again, starting over again, building a reputation again, all the while trying to make the move as seemless and easy on my husband and children as possible.  Because besides being an attorney, I am a Navy Wife.

As my fellow Navy Wife once said, I am the happiest married single mother there is.  My husband is an excellent partner and an amazing father.  I was once told to marry a man who you would be happy to have a son just like- and I would be thrilled if my son is as wonderful as my husband.  But with the nature of my husband's job, he is gone ALOT.  When my daughter was 6 weeks old, he left for the first time.  I was in the throws of post partem depression, am a type A so was freaking out on how I was going to care for the baby and  had no family close.  But I survived because if there is one thing us military wives are it is survivors.  Now, I need to clarify because as far as military wives are concerned I have it rather easy.  The longest my husband has every been gone straight since we have been married is 3 months.  He has never deployed for 12-18 months, or gone to Afghanistan but you do live in fear that it will happen.  Plus, he comes and goes alot which is hard to explain to little ones who have no concept of time.  I do not write this post as a pity party, more as informative of what military wives go through and how no matter how you try, there is no civilian job that compares.  That being said I am very blessed- my husband has a great job that he loves and is proud of and in which he is secure which is a rarity these days.

Most importantly, I am a mother.  My children are the most important things in the world to me and I would give anything to protect them and care for them.  I work, not because I want to, but because I have to in order to provide them with the security that I oftentimes did not have growing up.  I don't want them to be spoiled but secure.  I want to teach them to be sweet but strong and independent (but not so independent that they move far away from their mommy); to be smart but not smart-alecs; to be respectful but question what is not right- but most importantly I want them to know they are loved and how special they are and I think as a working mom this is the hardest as I feel like I am constantly leaving them!  Which brings me to the guilt I mentioned above.

Guilt- no one tells you as a mother, how much guilt you would feel.  I feel guilty about going to work (eventhough I have to), about losing my patience with my children when I have only been home an hour, wanting time to myself even though I have been at work all week, not keeping the house clean enough, not staying in touch with friends,  not working out, letting my children watch tv, serving my son cheese puffs and yogurt bites for dinner and the list goes on and on.  And my husband never feels any guilt it seems- I think men are just missing that chip.

But despite all the guilt, I would become a mother again in a heartbeat (in fact I want a third baby now but that is a whole other post).  It is the most exhausting yet rewarding job there is.  And frankly it is reading blogs like Shannon's that make me feel that I am not alone in my worries as a mother.  What I try to remind myself of daily is that God made me exactly the mother that my children needed- and he (unlike me) does not make mistakes.

I am a soccer mom!

This past weekend was Princess's first soccer game ever and I was so excited.  A little background, I played soccer growing up and all through high school and I am uber competitive.  Not just about soccer but most sports, games, etc- please I am an attorney, you don't get this job by being passive.  Anyways, Princess said she wanted to play and I have to say she is quite the natural. She is small for her age (still wears 2 or 3 T even though she will be 4 in August and is only 28 pounds) but she is fiesty.  I was worried though because she is quite hard on herself and does not like when others take things from her, get aggressive, etc.  she would not actually like "playing" soccer.  Sure enough during practice she kept losing control of the ball and started crying because she was not perfect.  However, I was determined that my child would not give up (see competitive above) so I figured she just needed some extra encouragement :)

My husband was home with Angel Baby since it was nap time so I was both cheerleader and videographer.  The entire video you can hear how "enthusiastic" I was- lets just say if there a reality show called "soccer moms" I would use this video as to why I should be considered for the role!  I was so proud of my little one and not only was she fantastic she scored the ONLY goal!!!!!  Since my cheerleading skills surpass my videographer skills, I missed the goal- in fact I taped the entire game up until the goal and when she scored all you hear is my screeching cheers and no video as the battery had died.  But even without the video I will forever remember that moment as one of my proudest as a mommy- and my adorable little Princess just continued to jump up and down and even threw in a little fist pump, yelling "I did it, I did it"- and boy did she.

Another funny story from the game to show that my child really does have superior skills and I am not just being biased- there was another little girl on the team who was quite good herself except she has not gotten the concept of not touching the ball with her hands.  Well before the game her parents did not really talk to me (in fact they looked at me like I was nuts to be honest); however, after witnessing Princess's raw talent the dad came over to me just ranting and raving about my star soccer player and how we needed to be friends because our girls were definitely going to play club level.  I just shook my head and smiled but I really was about to crack up laughing- club level?  was he serious- my child is 3- I was just thrilled she made it through the game without crying or peeing her pants!

I guess I would not be cast in the reality show "soccer moms" after all.